Life is Short-Only Now do I Know What it Means

Growing up we all heard it--"have fun, life is short."  When you're young that particular phrase has little meaning because you're still on the 'new' side of life.  Family, friends, career: we work so hard at these three things, these societal norms that the word 'life' takes on a new meaning.  Accomplishments, personal and professional, are those things of which life is made.


Yes, those things ARE life, and very, very important parts of it, but so is self-expression, laughter, breathing, seeing, and listening.  It's become much more clear to me, with each passing day, that we take so much beyond the point of seriousness, including ourselves.  Is there really so much self-worth that we believe our own lives are worth more than the person next to us, around the corner, or standing on the street?


I tell you friends, I find myself laughing at more and more and taking everything less seriously all the time.  Some people find this developing trait to be annoying, but me...I think it's endearing.  By taking myself less seriously I find I enjoy things, little things and big things, more than I would otherwise.


None of this means you should be less driven or ambitious, it simply means those focal points shouldn't define you as an individual.  It's okay to be passionate about something, but not at the expense of others, or just as importantly, yourself. 


For many years in corporate settings I've watched some walk over others in an attempt to elevate themselves.  I've figured out that they were only standing on the shoulders and backs of the ones that made it happen for them, and more often than not they were later exposed for their ethical shortcomings. 

What does "life is short" mean to me?  All that I've written above and a little more.  It means peace, love, laughter, music, learning, education....and just being good to one another. 

Except for the buttholes of the world. 

I jest.

Peace to you all!

Karate Class, Kids and Me

Over the years I've attempted to teach children martial arts, and each time I've tried my success has been limited.  The constant interruptions, the fidgeting, the crying, the giggling, the thumb sucking--it all drives me crazy.  To say I've lacked patience in this realm is an understatement!


So here I am, almost a month removed from beginning a new class.  I explained to the YMCA manager that I was interested in trying to teach children seven years old to twelve years of age in one class, and my second class beginning at age thirteen and up.  That's not an unreasonable request, wouldn't you agree?  The remarkable thing?  She agreed that this was the correct age groupings.


A few days prior to my first class I received a call from the local YMCA activities director asking if I could swing by her office when I got off work.  "Sure," I replied, assuming the worst.  I figured she was going to tell me that there wasn't enough interest generated in the classes and that the floor time would be better suited for another yoga or zumba class.  I'm pretty sure I even rolled my eyes at the mere thought of those classes taking my karate floor time, but hey, what can you do when there's no love to be found?


I walked into her office and sat down.  She began, "I've got some really great news!"
"I'm all ears," I replied, a smirk on my face (I have no idea why I was smirking.  Probably a carry-over look from my full time job--the usual look I have on my face when someone brings me news I don't want to hear).


"There are almost thirty children signed up for your classes," she relayed, her white teeth shining from constant bleaching. 


The information didn't quite sink in...all I could think was, I wish my teeth were that white.


"Did you hear me, Howard?  Isn't that wonderful?!  Almost thirty children.  The parents are soooo excited to have this class offered," she smiled, her white teeth mesmerizing. 


I wonder if she uses Crest Whitening Strips?


Finally, it dawned on me what she was saying.  "I have almost thirty children signed up?  No adults?"


"Well, that's what I wanted to speak with you about, Howard.  Several parents have children ages four and up.  Many want to put their four year olds in your class."


I've got to ask her who her dentist is.


I shook my head.  "Like we discussed, children that age, four, five and six, usually aren't ready for a karate class.  The teacher winds up being a baby sitter while the kids stand around and learn little."  I thought my reasoning was sound and the argument valid.


"Would you be willing to try teaching a four, five and six year old class?  The second class would be for those seven and above?"


I should stop drinking so much coffee.  I'm sure that's what's staining my teeth.  I bet she only drinks water and tea.


My head dropped in sullen defeat.  How could I say no to my new part-time employer?  Besides, her teeth are so incredibly white.


My first few classes were exactly what I expected.  Snotty noses, giggling, crying, thumb sucking, questions about my dragon belt (I still don't know what that means), a couple of loud farts, smelly feet, and pigtails.


Something was missing though, something I couldn't quite put my finger on until the fourth or fifth class.  My impatience was mostly AWOL.  I would be lying if I said it was completely gone; on the contrary, there were a couple of kids that I wanted to see put their shoes on, tell mom and dad that my class wasn't for them, and march right out of there. 


In the old days my trouble makers would be worked harder and be disciplined even more than their classmates, but age and a little bit of wisdom seems to have crept into my mindset.  One such little girl, the daughter of a military family, was a bit of a problem child.  I made up my mind after the first class that I didn't care for her or her lack of respect for adults (particularly her sensei, which is why I made her do a few extra pushups in a few different classes).


Yesterday, I took a little different approach with her and the couple of others who obviously suffer ADHD (attention deficit Howard disorder).  I corrected them when they were wrong, but made a big deal out of even the smallest of accomplishments.  Suddenly, several of them were trying a little harder, focusing just a bit more than they had a few minutes earlier.


After class I was gathering my things when my little trouble maker girl walked back into the dojo. 


"Sensei?"


"Yes, sweety?" I answered.


She ran over to me and jumped in my arms and gave me the biggest hug.


Yeah, I'm still smiling--stained teeth and all.

2015--It's going to be a great year!

For me, 2014 was, overall, a very good year.  A job change, a move south, my first published book, new experiences, new friends, and all around good times.  My excitement for the new year is simply a carryover from the previous one.


As with most years, there were disappointments and tragedies, but ninety-nine percent of the year was great, despite some of my grumbling to the contrary.  When I look back on 2014, I do so with fondness, and when I look down the barrel of the 2015 shotgun, I get excited.  Why?  I can't really say, only I suspect things are going to be wonderful this year.


Personally, I'm working on several projects, in written form and otherwise, that I'm certain will come to fruition this calendar year.  It's been a long time coming for me to look beyond the immediate, past tomorrow or the day after, and really look forward to what the future holds.  Can you tell I'm upbeat?  Yes sir/ma'am, I really am.


I've never been into making New Year's resolutions and such; to me, each day is a gift and should be utilized accordingly (although I don't always practice what I preach).  But for the first time in a long, long time, all my joints are relatively healthy and mostly pain free.  My head is clear--okay, most of the time it's clear--and the vision I have for what is to come is plain as the nose on my face.


Yeah, yeah, I realize I'm being ambiguous and vague, non-committal, really.  But I just wanted you to know, faithful reader, that great things are on the horizon.  In my heart I know that many great things are in store for you too...I can just feel it. 

So, keep your chin up, keep plugging away, look to the future, and remember.....always live your adventure!

Conspiracy Theory and Why They're So Much Fun

I'm not going to lie, I love the world of conspiracy theory.  In a Facebook chat with a friend I admitted to such, and would be remiss if I didn't come clean about my addiction.  While it's true that political motivation drives most every decision in Washington D.C. and other country's capitals, it's the veiled hyper-secretive stuff that my imagination grasp and refuses to relinquish. Who really killed JFK, and why did LBJ do it?  See what I did there? 


Why can't our government come clean about the Roswell, New Mexico  UFO crash of 1947 and their continued work in reverse engineering the technology recovered there?  Isn't it plausible that Neil Armstrong really set foot in a movie studio in 1969, rather than on our lunar satellite?  Why do you find that so absurd?  And for the love of God, will you please tell Elvis to come out of hiding and record one more album?


Currently, without wanting to give too much away, I'm researching The Bilderberger's and their (the world's rich and most powerful) global plans.  Why?  Because I love this stuff, and readers of good fiction do too.  Have you seen Giorgio Tsoukalos?  If I could wear my hair like that guy, I'm certain I could host my own cable conspiracy network!  Seriously, search this guy's name and get back to me.  You know you would love to see me looking like this fellow.

Yes, I'm an Ancient Alien Theorist.  By that I mean Cathy and I watch these programs and don't doubt the Nazca Lines were created as an alien landing strip thousands of years ago.  Let's not forget the Pyramids of Giza and the power they emit.  The Bermuda Triangle?  That's so 1950's.  Can't we please move along to missing airliners and why ISIS is interested in arming that plane at a later time in order to fly it into another American building?




Tell me you don't follow this stuff and I'll tell you President Obama has implanted a micro chip in your head and brainwashed you.  You ain't fooling nobody. 

Another Change, a Book, and Getting South

It's been a while since I've written anything substantial.  My predilection for writing trivial nonsense oftentimes overcomes my sensibility and need to write things more productive.  Such has been my life for the past month.  In my defense, I have made yet another big life change by relocating to Augusta, Georgia, leaving behind the cold, snow-infested heaps of eastern Pennsylvania in exchange for heat, humidity, and mosquitos roughly the size of Volkswagon Beetles.

As most are aware, because I annoy everyone in my social media circles to death with updates and such, I have written my first novel and have found a willing accomplice who has promised to publish my work.  The first installment of what I hope will be a long-running series, Of Blood and Stone, is off to the printer for hardcopy proofs.  After everything is approved by my publisher and me, it's off to the presses for mass distribution. 

I cannot convey how apprehensive I am about the prospect of having something pulled from my own mind, documented and in the hands of readers.  When I stop to think about it I realize how lucky I am, but also consider that some will enjoy it, while others will not--and that's the hard pill to swallow. 

I'm not so insecure as to believe that there will be those who won't enjoy the book; I guess I fear failure or disappointing those who have supported me through this process.  All of that being said, I'm not one to be a pessimist and know you all will enjoy the book and look forward to the next installment.  Haha!

Bill Evers has been a character who was born from my zeal for the military, the art of fighting, conspiracy theory and travel.  A man who suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, who longed for nothing more than to be left alone in the deep woods of Alabama, Evers gets pulled back into action by his old mentor, Buddy Smith.

I look forward to "watching" Evers develop as an individual as he copes with his psychological disorder.  More importantly, I love the process of writing and story telling in its purest form--the written word. 

I can't stress enough how enjoyable it is to be in a slower paced environment.  It took me a few years to realize I'm not cut out for the rat race, and in a couple short weeks Cathy will be here with me.  She's looking forward to getting out of the race too, although I suspect it will take her a little more time to acclimate to the southern drawl, the pace, and the sweet tea.

Finally, I would invite each of you to check out my website, which is far from completion, and offer suggestions and feedback.  Bear in mind I'm creating it myself, and I make no assertions about my website development capabilities.  On the contrary, had it not been for "drag and drop," I don't know what I would have done.  :)

www.howardupton.com

Peace, love, and yogurt to all y'all.

Seek Laughter in the Darkest of Times

Since the announcement of Robin William's untimely death, many have been left to ponder what success and wealth truly mean.  Williams was an actor that crossed racial, political, and social spectrums with his incredible intellect and brand of humor that most would concede was, if you'll pardon the cliché, once in a generation. 

The sad realization is that we have no idea what goes on behind the closed doors of someone's mind, the battles they face, nor understand things that may have contributed to their depression or mental illness.  BUT, we should also take a cue from Robin and know that laughter cures many ills.

Now, before I receive a bevy of messages and emails stating that "laughter won't cure depression," let me state, unequivocally, that I agree.  My point is this: this old world needs more laughter, less ridicule, and just a little more understanding for those silently screaming for help. 

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always the most compassionate person, but I work hard to see things from another person's point of view.  I attempt to walk in their shoes, even if only in my mind, before I reach a forgone conclusion about them.  At the end of the day, we're all human and, as such, should attempt to help one another whenever or wherever possible.

Speaking for myself only, I can say that laughter has pulled me out of several mental funks.  Like everyone, I've fought depression in some form or other, although I wouldn't place my struggles in the clinical depression category, and most often I can feel myself rising from some dark, cavernous abyss when someone is able to make me laugh. 

I would implore you to help anyone you believe needs help, whether their struggles be mental, or perhaps attributed to chemical or alcohol dependency, or maybe just acute loneliness.  Not everyone will accept your help, but don't give up.....maybe, just maybe......that person you're trying to help is waiting on you to make him or her.......simply....laugh.

Our on-line image and the personalities we create

We're all guilty of it--I'm certainly no exception.  Sometimes, while I'm lost in my own thoughts, or simply bored out of my ever-living-mind, I placate myself by engaging in self-deprecating humor.  Other times, I rail on about political issues, and still others, I write about my desire to be.....well, a writer. 


No matter the reason, contrived or otherwise, most of us spend a significant amount of time on our computers with social media being at the top of our Internet usage.  I'm beginning to understand many things specific to the human psyche, most of it learned through my own flawed personality, and some via those "Facebook friends" that we all have.


Before I delve into some of the interesting on-line personas I encounter on a daily basis, let me first say this: my life isn't that exciting.  I am well-traveled, but the vast majority of my travel hasn't been personal/vacation/retreat kind-of-travel; on the contrary, it's largely work related.  What's the difference?  About ten thousand photos taken and hung in my personal "Cloud."  That's the difference.  When I participate in work travel....I work.  Sometimes I get a few hours to sight-see, but mostly, well, I'm in a hotel, or on my computer catching up on work e-mails, or on the phone dealing with some work related issue.  So, while I might inadvertently paint a picture of my own redneck refinement, I can assure you I'm just a simple guy who takes his work to other places.


Also, I have many, many interests, as do most of us.  I attempt to share some of these with friends and family, but in retrospect, I'm sure they may come off as "look at what I can do," or "I think I'm better than you."  Please let me assure you that I don't intend for that to ever be my personal message.  In fact, I enjoy sharing experiences with people, telling stories, and generally relish life. 


With all that said, let's talk about other people.   :)


There are a host of on-line personas that make me laugh.  I would venture to guess that these same personas aggravate, or even infuriate, a host of people, but I take everything I read with a grain of salt and shrug off ninety-nine percent of it.


The on-line tough guy/keyboard warrior:  This is the guy who creates an imaginary world so full of self-indulgent grandeur that even a Marvel Comics story writer would be impressed.  This is especially prevalent in the martial arts world where the vast majority of practitioners have never been in a real fight, and even those who have been are now getting up there in years and have dropped off in their ability. 


The internet historian:  We've all seen this guy.  He's the one who will correct even the most mundane of historical fact.  Most of the time he does this without first verifying what he's written on snopes.com or some other credible site. 


The drama queen: This man/woman will post every visage of h/her life for the world to read, but get anxious and exceptionally upset when someone says something h/she perceives as negative. 


The political guru: Okay, I'm talking about me here......nothing to see....move along.


The grammar Nazi: I've fallen into this one several times, but attempt to curtail my spelling/syntax OCD by counting to ten before responding.  It helps...but not always.


The photo blast expert: This person has at h/her disposal the best camera on the market, with some of the best software available.  We are subjected to a bevy of floral, insect, tree, children, food and sunset/sunrise shots. 


The "I love everybody" person: No matter the issue, no matter the circumstance, this person just wants equality for all, but struggles to define the inequality the person or group has suffered. 


The passive-aggressive: Yeah, you'll have to re-read what he said three or four times before you realize he was telling you to piss off. 


The sports authority: Look, this guy has every sports channel available in the world and rarely ventures off the sports reservation.  What he doesn't know he can google in .1 second.


I know I've missed several, but these are the folks I laugh at regularly.  We all take part in the on-line persona game, and to some extent it's fun....just don't let it dominate your life, and stop taking yourself so seriously.