the amazing human condition

I try very hard to keep my blog from becoming a political soap box, and yet I find myself laughing at how seriously people take things that really don't amount to much (at least in the broadest context).  Somehow social issues have become a stomping ground in the arena of politics; rather, they have become a focal point on a scale almost equal to that of the economy.

The fervor that has become one man's opinion on homosexuality has now become a failed assault on the business he oversees.  Really people?  Does this guy's opinion have such an impact on you that it has determined whether or not you'll eat a chicken sandwhich from his restaurant?  Honestly, when was the last time you actually ate there?  I bet it wasn't this past Sunday was it?  What's been missed in this entire debate/debacle isn't what one man's position is on homosexual -vs- heterosexual marriage, but the position the company has had since its founding.  You got it--Christian/conservative.  So now someone has an axe to grind because this old guy has been labled a religious zealot. 

If you have so much time on your hands that you've researched this company's financial records, you have a boring life.  Wouldn't your time be better served trying to make your place of employment more efficient, or perhaps you could spend time helping your fellow man?  Perhaps you could adopt a mile and wallow in your pride as you save Mother Earth.

What I find is that people like to blame others for their own problems, or sit and think too hard and long on what might be ailing them, then figure out some strange means of placing blame on someone else for their perceived misgiving.  This, my friends, is what I find hilarious in the human condition.  And while it is hilarious, at least to me, it's also very dangerous. 

I have some very smart friends on both ends of the political spectrum, as well as friends who fall into the middle of the political minefield.  It seems the only way to get your point across anymore is to insult someone and then blame someone/anyone for your own shortcoming.  But at the end of the day, what really matters is how you've left the world.  Is it a better place or is it worse off?  What can you do today to make it better?  Can you make it better by first becoming better yourself (personally, financially, etc.)? 

Oh, that human condition.......

Smarter than the average bear!

My friends Kathy and Bob Brown thought this story pretty funny and worthy of telling here on my blog; and while I do find it ridiculous that I have to stoop to a new manly moral low in order to get out of housework, perhaps it's worth sharing.  Unfortunately, I will ruin things for a lot of guys, but I would encourage them to be creative in their approach to what I like to call "mucha casa laborious en absentia," or "out of much housework, none."

As many are aware, and as my poor wife has been painstakingly reminded time-after-time, I enjoy tooling around in the yard and in my garden.  Not because I enjoy sweating like a fat kid standing in line at a donut shop; on the contrary, I toil in the yard so I don't have to help clean house (see also: garage cleaning, car washing and driveway sweeping). 

Recently I noticed a bevy of dandelions and those prickly dandelion wannabe things growing in my yard.  Brought on by a relatively windy spring and a lot of drought, weeds and crabgrass have run rampant this year.  While many have seen this as an indication that the world is about to end, I saw this as an opportunity to be seized, molded and shaped for my personal benefit.  In our garage we have these silly weeding tools that are forked on the business end and have wooden handles on the other.  The idea is to dig under the weed, thereby grabbing the unwanted plant by the roots and removing it from the soil so that it doesn't have the opportunity to return.

My wife had announced early in the morning her desire to begin cleaning hardwood floors, vacuuming upstairs and de-bugging bathrooms.  I took this as my cue to find something else to do and to keep me out of her crosshairs--she loves putting me to work doing things I hate!

I promptly remembered the dandelions and prickly dandelion wannabe things in the yard and quickly grabbed a pair of gloves and the silly gardening tool.  I told my wife that these ugly weeds had to be removed immediately or we would run the risk of having them overtake our yard!  She agreed and understandably told me to attack the yard with much fervor--and I did!

I plopped on my butt in the back yard and went to work popping the weedy albatrosses from my yard.  Hundreds of them mocked me and I estimated two or three hours would be required to remove them all.  Approximately thirty minutes after starting the weed removal process I got an unwanted visit from my next door neighbor, David, who I would normally welcome with open arms.

"Hey," he began, "I have some weed killer in my garage if you want to use it.  You keep digging these things up and it'll take you forever."

My head snapped around and my eyes darted back and forth in hopes my wife hadn't overhead his comment.

"Dave, keep it down, man.  If Cathy hears you say that I'll have to go in the house and help her clean.  I have weed killer in the garage too, but she doesn't know that!  I'm perfectly happy out here doing this, but if she thinks I can spray some stuff on these dandelions and get back in the house, where do you think I'll wind up being?"

Dave began to laugh but I stared him down with my most intense, serious face.

"Oh," he stammered, "you aren't kidding are ya?"

"No, I ain't kidding at all," I replied.  "Now go away before she sees you over here.  She already knows you're smart and I don't need her thinking you're telling me an easier way of doing this."

Dave walked back to his house and left me to my yard work.  By days end the yard looked like a north Korean minefield with divots everywhere.  I had dug up almost thirty pounds of weeds and most importantly, Cathy was finished with the housework.

Viva mucha casa laborious en absentia!

Some sense of normalcy, please....

The world has simply gone crazy.  I look around and see people arguing and fighting about things beyond their personal control and wonder if they truly care about what they are saying.  What happened to the good old days of just slugging it out in order to get your point across?  I'm still a believer in "might is right," especially when I struggle to articulate my point of view.  A buddy of mine years ago was fond of saying, "When in doubt, knock 'em out."  I miss those days.

I spent the first six months in northern New Jersey waving at people who would blow the horn at me; I thought they were just being friendly.  Two years after my stint there, I sincerely find the people in Chicago to be nice--ain't it amazing what a little perspective will do for you?  But even mid-westerners get caught up in the uncontrollable, as do folks everywhere else.  Yeah, I'm as guilty as the next guy of this, but I have a blog and wanted to vent about it.

When I'm not ranting and raving about things political, I'm pretty calm--well, with the exception of college football season that is--and generally enjoy making folks laugh.  But I do have to shake my head when I watch people get worked up over things completely out of their control.  As an example, I work with some folks who get upset over things that have zero bearing on them getting their job done.  Another prime example is traffic: I sometimes get aggravated when I get stuck in it, but at the end of the day, I have no control over it so I just turn the radio up and sing along.  Yeah, I'm that guy.

You know what really burns my butt?  A flame about three feet high. 

Now that's just funny.