Happy New Year!

2018 slammed into us like the Titanic on a massive iceberg. The song "Baby It's Cold Outside" comes to mind! All of North America is gripped by an Arctic cold front causing people to make their faucets slowly drip water, heaters work overtime, and wives with hairy winter legs snuggle with their husbands.

Many of us will create resolutions which will be forgotten or ignored in a couple of weeks. Gyms will be crowded until the end of February with people intent on getting their beach bodies whipped into shape, while regulars wait patiently for the bench presses to be freed up. New sneakers will be broken in on treadmills that will soon double as clothes hangers. Beat feet, o' ye of rotundness (that's me)!

Some of us will swear off alcohol, fatty foods, and sedentary lifestyles. Y'all have fun with that one! As for me and my house, we shall be realists. I'm a believer in baby steps. Currently, I'm swearing off swearing things off. That is a form of progress isn't it?

With that said, here are my 2018 goals (you can call them resolutions, but I'm not a fan of that word):

• Be a better husband and father. I do what I can, but there's always room for improvement!
• Be a better friend to those who are truly friends.
• Write more!
• Publish at least one book (maybe two).
• Not roll my eyes when Cathy yells, "Hon?" from another room.
• Share more positivity, even when the subject matter is negative.
• Laugh lots, love more
• Make others laugh as often as possible. Others laughing makes me happy.

I think this is a pretty good list. As I read through it again, I realize it is not a living, breathing list, nor is it flexible. In my mind, these are all tangible, achievable goals that will remain in place, even when turds push my buttons. Was that negative? Sorry, I'll do better!

Things like, "I hope the new year brings you happiness and prosperity" are so cliché, but I honestly do want that for all of us. I will wish this for everyone on January 1st, throughout the entire year, and again on December 31st.

Let me close by saying this--I am happy that our paths have crossed. Whether we know each other on a personal level, in passing, or just online, you are all a part of my life and you make things good in a world that seems to tread in the deeps of evil and treachery. Thank you all for who you are!

My Final Blog of 2017

This is my last blog entry of 2017, so it seemed appropriate to take a stroll down memory lane. The year, at least for me, has been one of excitement and wonderful memories. There have been a few bad days and even some sad ones naturally, but by far and away, the year has been wonderful!

We swore in a new president, and whether you like him or not, the fact that we live in a country that has free and open elections is a luxury so many Americans take for granted. The peaceful transfer of power is envied all of the world, and while we enjoy talking about the cretins inhabiting the cesspool we call Washington D.C., we should be proud that our forefathers set up our system of government the way they did.

I was able to meet new friends and spend time with others that I have known for some time at a writers conference in Alabama. It was awesome to see my old friend Gary Gabelhouse, formerly of Nebraska and now living in Montana. He flew in from Lincoln to speak to so many aspiring writers about the "craft," marketing, and everything that should happen after a book goes to press. It was truly an inspiring talk!

I made a couple of business related trips and got to see former co-workers and, more importantly, friends that I had not seen for years! It was great seeing my old buddy Gordon Cordasco again, as well as Bob Ciriello who sadly passed away a couple of weeks after I left. These are/were great men that I have been fortunate to know and spend a part of my life with, even if we were in the Oreo trenches and struggling to survive. :)

While in New Jersey, I spent time with my daughter Courtney and her little family. It is always a perfect time when I get to hang out with them. A few months later, our grandson Rylan flew down and got introduced to country living for a week. Before he left to go home, the city boy had fired a few guns, caught a bunch of fish, and learned how to drive a tractor. The city boy was full on country!

Another stop made during the summer was in New Bern, North Carolina for a weekend of martial arts training. Getting to hang out with old friends, sweat, and train together is always a perfect time. I can honestly say that my karate training has afforded me a lifetime of friendships I would otherwise never have made.

Speaking of martial arts training, I flew to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for an incredible weekend of training. When I left to go home, I was the proud recipient of about fifteen bruises up and down my arms. Sensei Terry Valentino and Sensei Peter Giffen are two exceptionally gifted teachers with world class personalities. The other instructors who taught sections are also wonderful!

Cathy and I made another trip to Asia in November. We returned to Hong Kong for a week where I got the opportunity to explore the island mostly solo while she was stuck in meetings. We did manage time together for a day long excursion to Lantau Island where we got to see the Giant Buddha, or Tan Tien Buddha. The site was so impressive, as was the beautiful monastery located on the grounds.

We left Hong Kong for Bangkok, Thailand to celebrate our anniversary. I have detailed this trip in an earlier blog if you are interested to read about our adventure, but I would like to stress that Thailand is a magical country filled with gloriously nice people. I look forward to the day that we get to return there. The Buddhist temples, the River Kwai, the food, the markets, the smells--I loved everything about the place.

Early December saw another martial arts related event when two of my students tested for black belt ranks in front of an assembled panel of advanced karate-ka. Deb Ginn, sensei, Mike Jones, sensei, Randy Franks, sensei, Chris Nelson, sensei, Jim Merriss, sensei, and Taylor Franks, sensei bore witness to the test and promotion of Watts and Moore sensei(s). It was so good to see that many of my closest friends in one place again.

Now, Christmas is almost upon us. To be honest, I have felt very Christmas-y this year. It seems like the holiday grows ever more materialistic, but I am probably just getting cantankerous in my old age. I suspect I will be more in the Christmas mood once the holiday is finally here.

I do hope and pray for everyone to have a beautiful Christmas surrounded by family and friends, and hope you all have a glorious New Year!

The Uneducated Southern Myth and the Punishment Meted Out for Over a Century

It is in our nature as a species to become defensive when attacked, especially when we are attacked at a relentless pace. Granted, I have a biased opinion about that which I am going to pen this blog/op-ed, but I implore you to hear me out before drawing a conclusion on the topic. And one other caveat to add: I have lived and traveled enough to draw my conclusions based upon observations, as well as historical fact.

I am a Gen X'r, or a person born into a family of Baby Boomers. Generation X is a largely forgotten one for reasons I cannot explain, except to say we were the beginning of smaller families after the raucous birthing after World War II. Our formative years were the 1980's--a decade of American prosperity, a Cold War, and an end of the Soviet Empire. We were also the first generation removed from the second largest, most disgusting stain in American history: racial segregation.

For those of us living in a post-racially divided southern state, schools educating blacks and whites in the same classroom was normal. As elementary school children, we knew nothing of racial segregation. In fact, anyone living through segregation would have confused someone from my generation by talking about removing one of our friends from a class because he/she was black.

Now, my generation has grown up and we have given birth to the next group--Millennials. This generation, no matter your opinion of them, have taken the "all people are human" to a whole new level of complexity, but whether or not you understand their approach is irrelevant to this topic. Although I will say, I can at least appreciate the love and generosity they try to instill on others (I will leave it at that).

The point of my previous paragraphs has lead up to the topic of this entry. Like many people, I enjoy picking and choosing Biblical scripture to quote. I really do not care what your personal religious preference is, but it is difficult to deny much of the wisdom contained inside its hold covers. One such quote is this, "Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin." (Deuteronomy 24:16).

Since 1865 the southern United States, or more specifically the former Confederacy, has been punished and ridiculed by its northern counterparts on a regular basis. Despite President Lincoln's proclamation that the north would not do those exact things, the opposite has been true. How this has manifested itself is also noteworthy.

There is no doubt that blacks were not allowed employment in white owned companies in the south. This was a self-inflicted wound shot into the thigh of an already limping southern area. Rather than bringing labor into its workforce, many southern owned companies refused to hire blacks resulting in a poorer demographic overall. I shall not gloss over that fact!

Large corporations and manufacturing based companies refused to move facilities to the south, so as to avoid the stigmatism that came along with doing so. The same holds true today, although the tides have begun shifting somewhat, because southerners are willing to work for a lower wage than their union counterparts in the north.

Because of the disparity in economic factors between north and south, those individuals seeking an education often could not do so. A direct result of this disparity was a sense of "going it alone" and being self-sufficient. As southerners, the decision to figure things out on our own and do it ourselves became a point of pride.

Our dialect (distinctly different in each region of the deep south, but noticeable to southerners with an ear for such things) quickly became a subject by which the north would also ridicule us. The southern accent was described as quaint, unintelligible, and something only the uneducated would utter. In fact, the growing bourgeoisie of the north looked down their noses at such reprehensible forms of speech.

Let us fast forward to 2017 (almost 2018) and take note of how we, as a collective southern folk, are seen by our northern brothers. Still, we are looked upon with disdain; a region where white men wear pointy white hats and burn crosses in large fields while invoking God to protect us all, although most of us have never seen a Klansman, or haven't seen one in decades. We are assailed for our lack of education, despite having some of the most educated people (see Huntsville, Alabama as an example).

Have you paid particular notice to how the media portrays southerners, no matter their skin color? Let a tornado devastate a community and watch how quickly they find a trailer park with a toothless guy wearing a wife-beater t-shirt to interview (and before anyone is triggered by this remark, I spent a significant portion of my life living in a trailer, but my teeth are intact and every interview I've ever given has been with sleeves of some sort).

Do you listen to how politicians from the north talk about their southern counterparts? You would think our election process requires us to find the lowest, dumbest, most ridiculous cretin on the planet then place him or her in D.C. Note: check yourself and your own elected officials before jumping on this bandwagon.

The south continues to be punished for our fathers' indiscretions. By large, racial tensions in the south are good. We break bread together, we ride on buses with one another, we grow up playing with each other, and we attend church together. Why, then, does the north continue their ridicule? I suspect the answer lies somewhere between self-loathing and some underlying psychological issue that resonates with them alone.

In closing, what I find most disparaging about the punishment and ridicule levied by the north is that many of my fellow southerners now feel obliged to agree with them. Pummeling someone into submission is a disgusting act, but in many cases it appears to be working. To this I say to my fellow southerner (black and white alike): Southern man don't need him around anyhow. We think critically and are capable of being our own people. Your acceptance is not required.

Be well, y'all.

My Christmas Wish List

I'm not going to lie. I have been blessed in every way imaginable. So much so, that I cannot think of a single thing I personally want or need for Christmas. Friends, family, love, and laughter warm my heart and make me thankful for an incredibly rich life. Beyond those things, can a material possession really bring us joy? I think not.


In the world of good and misfortunes, there are obviously those who could use a little help or a hand with something. It is, in my opinion, a travesty to only think or act on helping (if you are physically and financially capable) during the holidays, but I also take into consideration how much more giving people are at this time of year. We should not be surprised by the number of people who dislike the holidays for one reason or other, so please keep them in mind should you decide to give someone a gift, a meal, or whatever. Oftentimes, people who dislike the holidays are the ones who have suffered the most, or grieve for loved ones taken around this time.


Recently, I learned of a friend's life that was unexpectedly taken. Just like that--a loving, friendly, outgoing person is gone. No material item will bring this person back. The only thing the family will have will be memories of their loved one now gone. This makes me sad on a level I cannot explain.


With that, I have thought about my Christmas wish list, and what I (or we) can do or give to bring a little joy to someone's life. How plausible is it to do something from the heart without thought of having something in return? After all, that is what the concept of gift giving and charity are built upon. Lest we take for granted all we have, please remember if you have a roof over your head, shoes on your feet, and food on your table, you are rich in comparison to the majority of the world.

My wish list is as follows:

• I would love for everyone reading this to call someone you haven't spoken to in a long, long time and tell them they are/were on your mind. If this person is someone with whom you have fallen out of favor with, or someone you feel has "done you wrong," make an effort to call them and wish them a Merry Christmas. Yes, this can be difficult, but being human isn't always easy.
• Take a small gift to a neighbor you don't speak to or really know. How cool would it be to make a new friend?
• Write a letter to a lost loved one and seal it in an envelope. This can be a very healing experience.
• Help someone you don't know. This doesn't have to be a money thing at all! Be creative.
• Stay off your phone while you are driving. Okay, this qualifies more as a pet peeve, but this is my list!
• Do not allow stress to get the better of you during the holidays. Everything you do, do with a smile.
• And finally, love your friends and family deeply. What better gift is there than that?

If you do one or all of these items, I congratulate you and love the fact that you are in my life. While I can come across as abrasive and cocky, as one person recently told me, I do have a passion for humanism and humanity.

Merry Christmas to you all!