Attention Ladies: Gifts for Men

Men and women are pretty funny when it comes to purchasing items for the opposite gender. Men often hear, "Just buy me something from the heart--it's the thought that counts." I once bought my wife a sandwich maker. It was from the heart just like she directed. To say she wasn't amused would be an understatement.

Not surprisingly, women do a better job shopping for their male counterparts, but there are still some things the ladies need to understand when it comes to buying things for us men:

1. If you make a purchase that reads "2-in-1." You are on the right track with this one! If we can get two uses from a single tool, or soap/shampoo, or a beer in a Darth Vader bottle, you will have our hearts.

2. Color coding is necessary. Don't make the mistake of buying us a men's toiletry kit with soap, lotion, etc. if the tubes or containers are identical. This will do nothing but bring on confusion. Containers for these items should be different colors because you already know we do not read instructions. We should not have to reinforce this with you, ladies, but truth and honesty is always the best policy.

3. Buy us something you know we can repair. You know your man better than he knows himself, so purchase something within his ability to fix should it stop working. If your man is only capable of changing a battery, buy him a flashlight. When he "fixes" it, he'll feel like a DYI'er.

4. Don't buy us exercise equipment or clothing. We aren't blind and we look in the mirror. We know we are out of shape. Even if we say, "I am going to start working out," don't run out to buy us a set of dumbbells. We don't need our women agreeing that we need to lose weight. Just nod your head and agree; let us buy our own workout gear.

5. Air fresheners for our vehicles are off limits. We fart in our cars and trucks. It's like free air fresheners, so we aren't interested in a piece of cardboard hanging from our mirror that smells like some Springtime flower from a Colorado mountain.

"Americans are Dreaming Again"

President Donald J. Trump recently gave a speech in which he stated, "Americans are dreaming again." I sat on that statement for a while, giving it a tremendous amount of thought and concluded that he is one hundred percent accurate in his assessment of our current state of affairs, both foreign and domestic. His unprecedented assault on everything the previous President put in place has unleashed our economy in a way our newest generation has never witnessed. But before we spend time on accomplishments and what the new normal means to us, let us first examine what American freedom is:

• Private land and home ownership

As Americans, we take this for granted. The ability to own our own house AND the land beneath it is not common around the world. For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, allow me to explain.


In most countries, the government owns the land. Commoners have no idea what it means to purchase and privately own the land beneath them. In fact, in many counties where private home ownership is allowed, the government leases the property to the home owner for an allotted amount of time (in some cases up to ninety-nine years). The thought of passing home and property to future generations is most often unheard of because the government can take possession of the house or building at the end of the lease. In addition, should the government presume the property is needed for anything other than a personal dwelling, it can break the lease and assume control of the home, because, after all, the government owns everything on which the property resides.


In many cases around the globe, private home ownership is not allowed, and government controlled housing is the norm. What a beautiful way to collect monies from its people, no?

• A standing military created to protect and serve its citizenry

Another misunderstanding Americans have is regarding our standing military. The military was devised to protect us from enemies foreign and domestic, to stop those who would attack us first, and to defend our nation's boundaries. Isn't it ironic so many feel contempt for those who volunteer to keep us safe? "Volunteer," my friends. There is no conscription here as there is in so many countries around the world. Rather than turning your nose up to those who serve or have served, why not smile and say "thank you" instead?

• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

What a novel concept this is! Without spending too much time on this famous line from our very own Declaration of Independence, let us spend a moment on the word "pursuit." We have a God-given right to pursue happiness in any way we deem necessary, so long as it does not move outside of our laws. What the word does not mean is that your are guaranteed happiness. Give this much thought and decide for yourself how this applies to you.


In a nutshell, I have attempted to define a few of those key concepts designed to give each American their own personal freedom. With that, I would like to focus on President Trump's statement as outlined in the title and the first paragraph of this entry.


An inconvenient truth, to borrow from a former Vice President, is to think for one second that anyone, or any group of people, know better than you when it comes to living your life and managing your own assets. Less government and government oversight is real freedom. Less regulation spurs economic growth and personal prosperity. Forget the ridiculous call to arms: "Most of the world's wealth is held by a thousand people around the planet." Okay, we get it--what isn't said is that you/we have the opportunity, if we do things correctly, work hard, make good decisions, take risks, and add a little luck, to become one of the wealthy. Now, perhaps this isn't your desire. No problem! If you aren't in this life to make money legally and to increase your personal wealth, I am absolutely fine with your decision. BUT, do not criticize others who enjoy this path. It is their/our right to do so; please stop whining about it.


Presidential candidate Donald Trump famously said in a debate (and I'm paraphrasing a bit), "Making America prosperous and safe is easy." What did he mean by that? Deregulation and unleashing American ingenuity coupled with a strong military was his formula for making it all happen.


I must admit when he first said it, I had my doubts. He proved me wrong and made me a believer. In thirteen months President Trump has pushed America back to the front and re-established us as the economic leader of the world. Our enemies are quiet and ISIS is all but destroyed.


If you don't like some of the personality quirks he has displayed, fine. Don't, however, dismiss what this man has accomplished in a single year! Much like those service men and women I wrote about earlier, you should simply say "thank you" then move along. Go be happy and enjoy this boon provided by an American electorate and a man who, thus far, has kept his campaign promises (and how strange is that?).

2018: A Year to Stop Using Certain Phrases at Work

A few years ago, I penned a blog specific to overused and trite expressions used in the workplace. So many of them drive me crazy and give me pause for an overly exaggerated eye-roll. I detest many of them, most of which are designed to make someone who lacks articulation skills to magically sound important and smart. Let's examine a few, shall we?


10.) "Let's tee this up."


I did not go back and re-read my post from previous years and am confident this one made the list. Fortunately, I do not hear it as often as I used to, but felt it necessary to include it here as it does resurface from time-to-time. In fact, one individual I work with uses it a lot. *Insert loud sigh here just after hitting the mute button on my phone*


9. "I'll give you a peek under the tent."


Brother, if you expose anything under your tent, I will likely be fired after beating you half to death. This expression, replete with innuendo and sexual connotation is one of the more ridiculous ones and should probably be ranked in my top three. The same individual using this one also frequents number ten, sometimes both are used in the same conversation. Worse yet, he will sometimes include them both in a single sentence. *begin gag reflex now*


8. "Stay in your lane."


I used to hear this expression a lot when I played football a few decades ago. Coaches would scream at special teams groups to "stay in your lane" so someone returning a kick or punt did not get by. At some point it became a common expression in the workplace. My knees hurt just hearing someone say it. *insert limp now*


7. "Let's stay on schedule."


What a novel idea! Can you imagine starting and finishing a project on time in the workplace. Back in the day people would get fired for not completing things in a timely manner. Doing so today brings on a phrase that makes me want to punch someone in the snot locker. *insert frowny face*


6. "Take ownership of this."


How about managing correctly and holding people accountable then I would not have to assume ownership for someone else's mishandling of whatever it is you want me to own?! *insert high blood pressure*


5. "Sexual harassment will no longer be tolerated."


You mean it was tolerated before you said this? Does this really need reiterated in the twenty-first century? Why is this a thing? *insert perplexed expression here*


4. "Zero balanced budgeting."


For those of you not experienced with this term, allow me to explain. We are no longer permitted to spend money on equipment upgrades, overtime, new hires, or the occasional holiday party. So sorry. Now you may return to your desk. Oh, and make sure your office lights are on a timer because the environment and electricity costs. *insert clenched jaw emoji*


3. "Computer based training."

You mean nap time for those of who grow weary of staring at a computer monitor, yes? Thank you for taking subject matter experts from our operations and outsourcing the knowledge to a tech firm that places it all neatly onto the "cloud." *insert eye rub*


2.) "Subject matter experts."


I realize I used the phrase in my previous rant. You will have to overlook that, please and thank you. The problem with today's workforce is too many SME's and not enough generalists who can backfill certain jobs, most especially in manufacturing. *insert smart, expert look here*


1.) "Let me get this out on the table."


We used to say, "I need to get this off my chest," but because of number five we must be careful. When voicing an opinion about a topic at work, there is no need to put it on the table. Just say what you need to say so we can make fun of you a little faster because you refused to think through what you proposed. *insert belly laugh*

There you have it: my top ten overused phrases I have grown weary of hearing at work.

Take a moment and comment some of your own despised phrases in the comment box below. I would love to read them!

Y'all be safe now, ya' hear? :)