A few years ago, I penned a blog specific to overused and trite expressions used in the workplace. So many of them drive me crazy and give me pause for an overly exaggerated eye-roll. I detest many of them, most of which are designed to make someone who lacks articulation skills to magically sound important and smart. Let's examine a few, shall we?
10.) "Let's tee this up."
I did not go back and re-read my post from previous years and am confident this one made the list. Fortunately, I do not hear it as often as I used to, but felt it necessary to include it here as it does resurface from time-to-time. In fact, one individual I work with uses it a lot. *Insert loud sigh here just after hitting the mute button on my phone*
9. "I'll give you a peek under the tent."
Brother, if you expose anything under your tent, I will likely be fired after beating you half to death. This expression, replete with innuendo and sexual connotation is one of the more ridiculous ones and should probably be ranked in my top three. The same individual using this one also frequents number ten, sometimes both are used in the same conversation. Worse yet, he will sometimes include them both in a single sentence. *begin gag reflex now*
8. "Stay in your lane."
I used to hear this expression a lot when I played football a few decades ago. Coaches would scream at special teams groups to "stay in your lane" so someone returning a kick or punt did not get by. At some point it became a common expression in the workplace. My knees hurt just hearing someone say it. *insert limp now*
7. "Let's stay on schedule."
What a novel idea! Can you imagine starting and finishing a project on time in the workplace. Back in the day people would get fired for not completing things in a timely manner. Doing so today brings on a phrase that makes me want to punch someone in the snot locker. *insert frowny face*
6. "Take ownership of this."
How about managing correctly and holding people accountable then I would not have to assume ownership for someone else's mishandling of whatever it is you want me to own?! *insert high blood pressure*
5. "Sexual harassment will no longer be tolerated."
You mean it was tolerated before you said this? Does this really need reiterated in the twenty-first century? Why is this a thing? *insert perplexed expression here*
4. "Zero balanced budgeting."
For those of you not experienced with this term, allow me to explain. We are no longer permitted to spend money on equipment upgrades, overtime, new hires, or the occasional holiday party. So sorry. Now you may return to your desk. Oh, and make sure your office lights are on a timer because the environment and electricity costs. *insert clenched jaw emoji*
3. "Computer based training."
You mean nap time for those of who grow weary of staring at a computer monitor, yes? Thank you for taking subject matter experts from our operations and outsourcing the knowledge to a tech firm that places it all neatly onto the "cloud." *insert eye rub*
2.) "Subject matter experts."
I realize I used the phrase in my previous rant. You will have to overlook that, please and thank you. The problem with today's workforce is too many SME's and not enough generalists who can backfill certain jobs, most especially in manufacturing. *insert smart, expert look here*
1.) "Let me get this out on the table."
We used to say, "I need to get this off my chest," but because of number five we must be careful. When voicing an opinion about a topic at work, there is no need to put it on the table. Just say what you need to say so we can make fun of you a little faster because you refused to think through what you proposed. *insert belly laugh*
There you have it: my top ten overused phrases I have grown weary of hearing at work.
Take a moment and comment some of your own despised phrases in the comment box below. I would love to read them!
Y'all be safe now, ya' hear? :)
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