Friday, March 23, 2012

the top ten catch phrases I hate to hear at work (and my response to each)

10.  We need synergy between departments
         -Really?  Synergy?  Is this short for synthetic energy?  What does that mean?

9.  This presentation doesn't "pop"
         -Okay.  How 'bout I punch you in the face.  I can make that pop!

8.  Now, that has the "wow" factor!
         -Gay

7.  Lean operations
         -Look at this belly.  Do you think I'm concerned about lean manufacturing?

6.  Get on board
         -I'm already bored.  What did you say?

5.  This is huge
         -That's what she said.

4.  We're up against a hard break
         -Are you a sitcom director now?  Is it commercial time?  And why are you using two prepositions in the same sentence? 

3.  Think outside the box
         -I'm not in a box, I don't have blinders on and I can see the forest for all the trees.  Now shut up.

2.  He was instrumental in developing this
        -I was instrumental?  Dude, I was a one-man team.  I wasn't "instrumental," I was the instrument AND the mental.  Get it right.

1.  Let's frame this up
        -I tell you what--why don't I bring a few pictures, you bring a few beers and we'll put the photos in some frames.  Can I expense those?  No?  Frame this.

5 comments:

  1. Ha! I love the comment that just say, "Gay".

    ReplyDelete
  2. It sounds like you work for an interior decorator. Would love to see the look on your face when someone told you that your presentation didn't pop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! No, not an interior decorator, but your observations are hilarious! Thanks for the feedback.

      Delete
  3. Humor is the best way to express oneself. Be welcome to
    http://www.themicrostories.blogspot.com Good reading for brain amputees and geniuses; so be welcome if you are in either category. Clic down to read the english version, because they are shown in bilingual format, spanish and english.

    ReplyDelete

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