It's Time for Men to be Men (Again)

Whether anyone wants to admit it, there has been a war on men and manliness since the "cultural revolution" of the 1960's. The feminist movement had, and still has, its male supporters who declare that a woman can do anything a man can do and possibly better. In so proclaiming a woman's demonstratively superior position in the evolutionary chain, men became wary of their own manliness and elected to "get in touch with their feelings" instead.


Before we delve into the dissolution of men and their manhood, it is important to look at causation. The elevation of women as the superior gender notwithstanding, leftists began questioning societal norms when it came to manliness and manhood. As the counter-culture pushed their feminist mantra, the breakdown of the American family took root and generations of young boys were left without fathers to teach them how to be men.


In most cultures, becoming a man is a rite of passage. There is an age or an act that denotes a boy's movement from adolescence to manhood. Unfortunately, America (and other "developed" nations) has lost sight of helping its young boys become men. We have given into the precept that boys can be girls and girls can be boys.


Newsflash: our biology is NOT interchangeable.


I was prompted to pen this entry after reading an op-ed in the Failing New York Times. You can read it for yourself here, but rest assured, the premise was a simple one: boy's feelings have been suppressed, hence boys going on shooting rampages.

To say I was disappointed in the article is a misnomer. There was no data to support the author's position on the topic, but there is plenty of evidence to support mine. The breakdown of the American family has created a vacuum that is sucking the life out of future men. When lines are blurred between men and women in the family unit, what do we expect to happen?


Our society has pushed the ridiculous notion that we "need" gender neutral restrooms and that it is okay for boys to wear dresses and makeup. This abnormal behavior flies in the face of millions of years worth of evolutionary factors. Besides that, what lady wants to envy her husband's dress? I digress...


Before someone jumps on the "Howard's a misogynist" bandwagon, let me assure you that I'm not. I have daughters and encourage them to be the best they can be in everything they do or desire to do. They are all very smart and compassionate young ladies, and they each have a working knowledge of biology. We don't all trade the same political capital, but that's okay. I am happy they are all individual thinkers and do not fall into the dangerous abyss of group think.


If we continue down the path of gender neutrality, we can all expect, and should expect, a violent outcome. To do so defies nature. We, men and women, are wired differently. The hunter/gatherer/protector and the nurturer are not the same. Men and women marry, live with one another, co-habitate, or whatever you like to call it, because we need each other in order to complete the circle of life.


Take heed, please! Do not squash a boy's desire to do what has been seen traditionally as "boy stuff." Those things enable the youngster to become a productive member of society, and equally I would argue, a better man.

In the End, We All Die-How We Live is What Matters

I do what I can to be a positive influence on those around me. I cut up, I joke, I laugh. When I need to be serious, I'm serious. When I need to get work done, I get my work done. When it's time for me to mentor a young kid, I do that too. When one of my daughter's needs a shoulder to cry on, I am there for them. When I need to give them some advice, I share it with them. If my wife talks to me, I do my best to focus and listen (she might argue with this one, but it's my post, so...).


We are all faced with dilemmas, problems, and personal issues. I do my best to internalize those things and deal with them so as not to be a burden to others. Don't get me wrong. If I need help with something, I ask for help. My pride isn't quite that overwhelming!


My point is simple: as humans, we must engage and interact with one another on some level each and every day of our lives. That is, unless you live deep in the Maine or Montana wilderness without cellular, satellite, or internet connections of any kind. If we can all agree on this simple truism, isn't it in our best interest to be a positive influence on those around us?


Is it so difficult to simply speak to someone when we walk into the office? Perhaps a "good morning" will make a person feel good! What if you randomly brought someone a cup of coffee one day? Someone you don't really know, but occasionally see around the work-place?


There is so much negativity in our world today. We have at our fingertips unimaginable technology that was only dreamed about a decade or two ago. And here we are: at each other's collective throats on a regular basis. This confounds me! Technology was supposed to make our lives better and easier, but just the opposite seems to be happening.


Here is my challenge to us all: try being nice to someone you don't really know. I don't care what the compliment or comment is, just do something that is good. I'm tired of the bad; I think we all are. To be a little cliché, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Be good, y'all.

The Fragility of the Human Ego

In the past few weeks, I have once again realized the fragility of the human ego. We all have "it," the ego that is. It dominates how we think, act, talk, how we function in our lives, etc. The ego is a part of the human psyche that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. There is nothing wrong with an ego unless it is allowed to overtake our consciousness; then it becomes problematic.

I have been as guilty as the next man or woman when it comes to having an inflated ego. Sometimes we believe our own press. When things go well, we tend to believe we belong on a pedestal, even though, deep down, we are only stroking our insecurities.

Growing up poor, all we had to cling to was faith, family, and honor. Those were the three things a person did not mess with, and it is/was even more pronounced in the Southern states where pride in self and family meant everything. A sense of pride in those things was always enforced in our family, but allowing the ego to overtake all else was not.

The difference between "a sense of pride" and an "overarching ego" is the former drives you to be better, while the latter takes over your ability to reason. You control one, while the other controls you. I am guilty of allowing this to happen, and unfortunately, I've watched as several others are currently allowing their ego to control their thoughts and actions. As is par for the course, those under the control of their ego have no idea what is happening and how it impacts those around them.

All that said, this entry is not written to berate anyone; on the contrary, it is written as a means to warn the reader and to help us all keep our ego in check. Let us not make excuses for our actions by calling ourselves "cocky," "filled with honor," and other such axioms that deflect from our insecurities and poor decisions.

Let us help one another grow and be happy. If you have a skill that someone could learn from or enjoy, share it willingly and openly. If you provide a service for someone, do not try to break another person financially in making it available. The possibility of helping someone less fortunate should be payment enough for anyone with a heart and soul. Oh, and don't always expect some kind of repayment for services rendered--that's just your ego talking.