A New Thought!

Writer's block, with me at least, doesn't typically occur after deciding upon a topic.  On the contrary, my sticking point normally hits me when I'm searching for a topic, attempting to force my writing rather than allowing it to just happen.  Contemplative Buddhist monks and laymen tell new followers to allow thoughts to happen naturally during meditation practices; forcing thoughts from your mind will often prove disruptive and frustrating.  Eventually, the practitioner will learn to clear his/her mind during practice providing for a more fruitful meditation. 

Following this example, I sometimes grow frustrated when I can't develop or get my head around a topic.  Frustration breeds more frustration and suddenly I find myself upset at my own inability to formulate a simple thought; the brain synapses seem to have stopped working altogether!  I grow moody and irritable and soon I can't stand being in my own presence.  I feel for those close to me who are confronted with my personal inability to form even the most simple of cognition. 

Finally, after moving through the psychological grieving steps, I accept the fact I will never again be able to put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, thoughts to monitor.  Yes, as much as it pains me I embrace my defeat, finding its unsavory kiss one I want to wipe away but like a bad wreck I'm unable to move my eyes from the ghastly sight.

I move through a mundane life: arise, shower, work, home, sleep, rinse, repeat.  Day after day, I walk this Earth like a robot, my inability to put one unique thought together dragging me further down the rabbit hole.  I grow depressed and wonder about the great thinkers of the world and wonder why they were gifted with gloriously rabid minds.

And then it happens!  When I stop pushing the baby from its womb, the head appears.  Like childbirth, the thought is barely recognizable but quickly takes shape.  The proud father beaming from ear to ear, knocking those around me into walls and on the ground as I sprint to find my computer.

Okay, maybe that last paragraph is a little self indulgent and embellishing, but I do go looking for a computer or at least a pen and paper on which to jot down my idea.  I once again become engrossed in the idea, imagining a story line or theme and soon begin working.  That's where I am now--the idea, the process and the initial creative steps--and I'm very happy.