I've often wondered what it means to have a mid-life crisis. How does one know he/she has reached mid-life? If you knew you were going to die when you were thirty it would make sense that you would have a mid-life crisis when you were fifteen, right? Does a mid-life crisis constitute buying a motorcycle or a Ferrari (who does that?) or does it mean a new exercise regimen to rid yourself of the love handles you've worked your entire life to acquire?
Perhaps it means humming Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days or drinking beer and talking about them? Is there a time you realize you are having a mid-life crisis and decide it's too late in life to chase your dreams? When do we settle on where we are and what we are doing, rather than where we want to be and doing what we want?
Before I get too far along, I have a motorcycle and was accused of buying it because I was having a mid-life crisis (I think my own mom said this and that made me laugh). I purchased the scooter when I was in my mid-thirties; does that mean I'm destined to die in my late sixties or early seventies? Did my mom have a premonition or did I always have a want to ride a bike, take in my surroundings and not have to talk to anyone? I don't know....but mom knows most everything so I'll default to her. 'Course, my memory isn't exactly what it was a few years ago so maybe she didn't say that at all. It doesn't really matter, as it would seem that someone is in touch with the spirit world and knows the approximate time of my death.
So now I chase my dreams and I'm still uncertain if it's a mid-life crisis or the fact that I realize what I've always wanted to do is this particular thing. And it doesn't really matter, or shouldn't really matter, to you what that thing is--only that you know that I know what it is and I want to pursue it.
The difficult part in chasing dreams is defining them. Sometimes it seems to me that my dreams are clouds, taking shape of specific things only my eyes recognize, and sometimes my dreams are as clear as icicles forming on the eves of a house. But here I am, hoping I'm not middle aged because I plan on living till I'm two hundred years old, and wanting to pursue my dreams because my clouds are taking definite shape and becoming ice crystals on the edge of my house.
What does all this mean? I really have no idea at all. Where will my dreams take me? I can't answer that either, but I know I'm still human, I'm still a man and I still dream. I only hope my dreams transcend into someone else's dream, and at the end of the day my dream has made a positive impact on someone else's life. How esoteric! How liberal! How conservative! How unconventional!
Yes, I dream a dream that others have dreamed. I Imagine, I see Kubla Khan, I see what Julius Caesar sought and what Martin Luther King desired. My cloud has taken form and now I'll grab it and breath life into its being.
I realize I usually try to pen something funny; perhaps you find this post funny or sentimental but it is what I intended--a simple musing by a man destined to follow his dream.
Here comes my cloud.......
Love it!
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