I awoke just outside Nashville, Tennessee and looked over at my wife who had taken on the chore of driving around O' My God Early. Her eyes were beginning to glaze over but she continued on like the trooper she is, however, I didn't want her to drive through Nash-Vegas because of the multiple switchbacks on I-65 (if you've ever driven through Nashville you know exactly what I'm talking about). She could certainly handle the drive, but I didn't want to subject her to unfamiliar roads while she was that tired, so I asked her to pull over so I could take the wheel.
I got us through Nasty-ville and across the Alabama state line. We pulled over at the rest stop on 65; you know, the one with the rocket. Once again I was fighting sleep deprivation so Cathy agreed to get us to my mom's house. She's just awesome like that.
We finally arrived at mom's place around 5:45 AM on Saturday, got a couple of hours of sleep then got up to head to a family reunion. I had forgotten what it was like to be at one of my family reunions and laughed at the lunacy that is a redneck gathering (rather sophisticated rednecks, if you will). I surveyed the family asking if anyone was interested in helping me unload our moving POD later in the day. No luck! Yep, they were already treating me like family. Actually, I did have a cousin step up and say he would help, so that's cool (and I know he's probably reading this so he would have called me out anyway).
After destroying one of the seven deadly sins (gluttony) at the reunion, we put the car on Highway 431 southbound for our new home. The day of reckoning had officially arrived! When we pulled up to the house, the POD had been gingerly placed, part of my long driveway cracked and broken under its weight. "Wonderful," I thought, "something else to fix and pay for." We unlocked the house and opened the POD to find everything as we had packed it--crammed to the POD gills. Much to my surprise, two of my uncles and one of my aunts showed up to help! Had I not been so manly, I would have cried. Instead, I jumped into the POD and began handing them really, really heavy boxes and furniture before they changed their minds. Did I mention it was ninety-six freaking degrees and around 1000% humidity?
We got everything unloaded pretty quickly and moved into the house where Cathy wanted it. Couches, chairs, tables, beds, some very heavy bedroom furniture, desks, etc. were placed with care. I couldn't have asked for better help; my mom and step-dad had jumped into the fray to help too.
After finishing the unpacking and telling my extended family thanks and bidding them farewell, I took some time to survey our property. The grass had only been cut once since March and was now around mid-shin height in some areas while other areas were overgrown to the point of being renamed the Upton Rainforest Preserve. This was going to be fun to mow--insert sarcasm--but unfortunately my mower wouldn't arrive until Tuesday. This gave me a couple of days for the wife and I to get the house in order before tackling the five plus acres of hay and faux wheat.
And thus began my two hundred trips to Lowe's. You know why Lowe's knows? Because you have to go there so often!
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