A business of our own

The wife and I often throw around ideas by which we might become independently wealthy or at least independently independent.  If you look at your current situation, and you work for "the man" or the "woman" you are essentially co-dependent, due largely in part because you depend on the company for sustenance.  This is absolutely fine for those folks who have no problem with working for someone, abiding by somelse's rules and being told when/where you have to work.  As a matter of fact, I'm a lover of those who create jobs for others.  It's just that at this point in my life I have a desire to branch out and try a few things on my own. 

Without giving our double top secret plans away, I've gone through a process of elimination when it comes to my future career possibilities.  Below is a list, which isn't comprehensive by any stretch of the imagination, of those career choices I've scratched from my "maybe" list:

• Chippendale dancer--can you say Chris Farley?  My six pack abs are in hibernation but the possibility of dancing brought about by "man-scaping" has made this plausible.
• Astronaut--this was a possibility until someone told me I had to have above average math skills.  Scratch.
• Police officer--this sounded cool until my run-in with the state trooper in Indianapolis.  I can't be a douche like that guy.  Next.
• Doctor--I have to be smart.  Ain't happening.
• Actor--I have to be skinny and an idiot.  I'm halfway there.  Winning!
• Lawn service owner--my Spanish sucks.
• Wal-Mart greeter--I admire these people and wouldn't mind giving it a go, but I would probably get in trouble for telling people they can't enter the store "dressed like that."
• Master brewer--this one caught my attention and I'm keeping it on my radar.
• Lead guitarist/singer in my own band--I wanted to do this, but I can't play or sing.
• Poet--I was told that bathroom lymrics weren't recognized as "poetic."  But I say they've never heard me recite, "They paint these walls to cover my pen....."
• Cult leader--I can't sit still long enough to prophesy.
• Politician--I have to be full of crap and have lots of skeletons in my closet.  Hhhmmmm.........
• Fireman--this was a possibility, but when I attempted to negotiate only fighting fires between nine in the morning to five in the afternoon I was asked to leave the firehouse.
• Weatherman--I actually got a screen test, but couldn't stop repeating myself everytime I said, "hook echo." 
• State road employee--I can't quite figure out what fifteen of these guys do while one actually works, so I don't know what qualifications to put on my resume.
• CIA agent--I was cool with this until I was told I had to keep a secret.  Dang it.
• President of a large bank--I have a conscious and couldn't screw people out of their money.
• Master carpenter--I love building things but struggle getting corners squared.
• Electrician--I got laughed at during the interview when I kept touching the end of the wire and quickly withdrawing my hand because I simply wanted to make sure the wire wasn't live.

As I stated above, this list is not comprehensive by any means, but I figured I needed a list, recognize my own faults, flaws and limitations then begin eliminating those careers that don't necessarily fit.